Hey girl hey!
What’s up? How are things with you? I haven’t talked to you
in a while, several years to be exact; I hope you are managing to keep things
together. This world can be cruel baby girl; don’t let it eat you up.
I’m sorry that I didn’t value you more, because like Lauryn
Hill said, “respect is just the minimum.” You deserved so much more! I’m sorry if you felt abused and used, it wasn’t my intent; I was just lost out
here, trying to figure it out. Will you ever forgive me? I’m much more
careful with who I let in my life and I do not have a problem letting go when I
don’t feel valued. Sweetie, I hope you can one day find the strength to let go
of deleterious relationships. I don’t think you know how beautiful you are…

I’m finally working in the medical field (well almost!) I’m
in PA school. I know, I know … I was supposed to be a doctor, but I realized
that was other people’s dreams for me. I was living up to other people’s plans
and expectations for my life. I finally was able to break down the barriers
that were holding me back, and what people thought of me if I didn’t achieve
what they thought was right for my life. I feel so liberated now! Maybe one
day, you will be able to relinquish yourself from the shackles that are holding
you back. I know it’s hard, but take it
one day at a time. You have so many people rooting for you!
I’m sorry for all those phony moments when I was pretending
to be someone I wasn’t. See, like every young adult, we have those moments
where our self-esteem is low, and we still don’t know “us” yet. I’ve let that
old person go. The pettiness, cattiness, and superficial things are gone; the
moments wasted getting sloppy drunk the night before, only to wake up the next
morning and not remembering how I got home, all just to do it all again, those
days are gone. I no longer waste any part of my day. Every minute, every
second, I am finding new ways to make me happy and a better person. I no longer take joy in the things that I once did; don’t get me wrong, I still like
to kick it and have fun with my friends, but I’m more responsible with my “turn
up.” I know it’s hard to let go of those friendships and habits that bring you
joy, but lady let me tell you something, I have more joy WITHOUT it than I ever
did WITH it. A lot of people will not understand why you're doing this and you might lose some friendships along the way, but sweetheart, let me tell you one thing, God's plan for your life is always better than you have ever planned. By holding on to toxic habits and relationships, you are blocking God's blessings on your life.

Sincerely,
Amber xoxo
"I'm more responsible with my turn up"... quote of the day right there :) Great blog post. This writing gives a good glimpse as to where your head and heart is in this time of your life and it's seems to be in a great place. Continued blessings and God's favor to you
ReplyDeleteAw thanks so much for the feedback! It's greatly appreciated. And, that quote is the motto for my life, haha
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